Angela woke to the sound of the running in her own
mind. She rolled over and looked at the alarm clock.
The digital display blazed red with two sideways dots
that blinked like a cheap neon sign. Five o’clock in
the morning. It was an alarm clock, but Angela didn’t
bother to set the alarm for school any more. She was
waking up earlier and earlier and going to bed at
eight or nine in the evening. Her life was slowly
wrapping around the night to better suit her desire to
be alone.
She reached out from under he covers and grabbed her
favorite blue and gray cotton bathrobe off of the
chair nearby. It was a huge robe, meant for an adult
man (a big adult man), but Angela loved it because its
size made her feel smaller, thinner. Wearing it, she
didn’t feel so guilty about eating two bowls of
Captain Crunch cereal an hour before her mother would
wake up and feed her bacon and eggs for breakfast.
The early morning was the only time Angela could
really concentrate on her homework. Normally she
raced through her assignments in the class just before
the one where they were due, but lately she had
realized that when she woke up and had time to waste,
she didn’t mind so much wasting it on math problems
and English essays.
Long ago she had come to terms with the fact that it
was impossible for her to study in the evening. After
dinner, when it got dark outside, her brain ceased all
ability to focus on anything visceral. Words and
pictures made her weary and she could not read, could
not even watch a video without falling asleep soon
after starting. Then, somewhere around two or three
in the morning she would wake up in whatever chair she
was in, and she inevitably would be twisted in some
odd position with either a stiff neck or back, or else
one or more of her limbs would have lost circulation
and commence to sting with electric pain as the blood
slowly revived her ability to control her crushed
muscles.
After her classes there were simply too many
distractions for her to think about homework. This
was her time. When the school day was done Angela
walked the streets of the neighborhood and tried to
decide what kind of house she would like to live in,
grow old in. She thought that with the perfect home
it wouldn’t matter if she was fat and ugly and had no
family to share it with. She had no doubt that in the
future she would be able to afford whatever residence
she wanted. Somehow she knew that she would be some
kind of success, either a famous writer or researcher
or professor. She was miles ahead of her classmates
in terms of pure knowledge about certain matters.
Every day she tried to read something challenging, to
learn something new. She did not want anyone to
mention something she did not know about or hadn’t
heard of before. She filled spiral notebooks with
facts she collected about the world, and then she
sorted her notes into computer files and filled
folders and drives with all the information she had
accumulated. She worked on her personal projects just
before dinner, and all weekend long. The only thing
that worried her was her inability to read in the
evening without a great weariness descending on her,
engulfing her in sleep with hardly any warning,
robbing her of huge chunks of her precious time.
But now it was morning again and she wanted to get
her crap assignments out of the way so that she could
get back to reading about Ethan Allen’s capture of
Fort Ticonderoga in 1775. She had formed a love of
the history of the battles of the Revolution, and was
reading everything she could get her hands on that
dealt with the subject. No one else seemed very
interested in this war other than a few stupid
propaganda Disney films they showed in the public
schools. Angela was captivated by the fight of the
American underdogs at the only time in U.S. history
when they really were underdogs. Politics didn’t mean
anything to her at all; she could care less about the
global ramifications and shifts in political
ideologies. She only wanted to witness the passion of
the men that died fighting a seemingly unbeatable foe, a British redcoat so proud and formal that he would
clutch at the neck of the rest of the world, draining
his victim’s lifeblood into his own coffer’s while
holding the flailing body at arms length so as not to
mess up his uniform.
Slowly but surely Angela’s morning peace was broken
as the rest of the household woke up and invaded all
the spaces of the house with the noise of getting
ready for work and school. Before she knew it her
mother was in the kitchen, banging the pots and pans
as if in a makeshift one-man band and making the
dishes in the sink sound like a re-enactment of the
sinking of the Titanic. Angela closed her book and
slid off the living room couch in an attempt to creep
back to her bedroom, but between her and the doorway
to the hall was her eight-year old brother Nick. He
was dragging behind him the cheap acoustic guitar
their parents had bought him at the pawn shop in a
fit of insanity.
"Angie, you got to help me write a song." Nick was
not about to let her get around him, and he swung his
guitar around to hold out in front of him and better
block her way. "I’m ready to start my band Bleeding
Spleens and I need a song. Every band has a song.
It’s not a real band without a song." Half of Nick’s
dark brown hair was standing on end, and the other
half was plastered down like a Jerry Lewis bowl cut.
It looked like he hadn’t showered in a week, though
Angela was well aware that her mother made a point of
shoving him into a bathtub at every opportunity, only
to throw up her hands when he emerged like
a clean Pigpen from the bathroom and immediately commenced to roll
in his own filth.
"Ummm, don’t you have to get ready for school?"
Angela leaned over and smiled her biggest
get-out-of-my-way-or-I’ll-eat-you-for-breakfast smile,
but that only prompted him to drop the instrument and
jump onto her neck and instigate some kind of
primitive judo hold that she was certain some sadistic
elementary school teacher had taught him in a fit of
evil. Her reflexes kicked in and soon she was holding
him upside-down by his ankles as his face turned
various shades of red as he alternated screaming and
laughing.
"Whoa, it’s a little too early to be making so much
noise, you two." Her father was stand in the doorway,
sporting a fresh coat of shaving cream and holding his
Track Two safety razor menacingly. "Angie, I think
you had better put your brother down before we all go
deaf."
She merely shrugged and tossed Nick onto the couch.
"Excuse me," she said, in an effort to get around the
half-naked Hulk-sized figure blocking her way. He
glared at her, but she imagined a touch of sadness
behind the white foam. In her mind he wanted some
recognition of - if not a familial bond - at least his
status of a human being as opposed to merely an
obstacle in her path. But in his face was only the
anger of shavingus interruptus followed by a rather
dumb look of surprise that she didn’t have more to say
to her own father.
"And a good morning to you too."
He turned, glacier like, and proceeded to start back
towards the main bathroom from whence he came, which
gave her brother just enough time to jump on her back
and knock her down. She could not help but use
Nick’s cheap Harmony guitar to cushion her fall,
subsequently smashing the little wooden instrument
completely flat.
|