When she was born, the doctor took a look at her and
said, "That’s a fine, big beautiful girl!" He meant
it as a positive statement, but he unintentionally
stressed the word ‘big’ as he said it. The truth was
that the baby was really not much bigger than any
other baby the doctor had delivered, but he was glad
that it looked healthy for he had had an unfortunate
string of births lately that had produced some rather
scrawny, sickly looking babies who gave the impression
that they had either been born much too soon, or that
somehow they had contracted anorexia while still in
the womb. Her mother was horrified, however, for the
word ‘big’ was the only word she had heard, and the
rest of the doctor’s sentence was lost.
Ned and Irma Walsh didn’t have much say over how much
formula was given to baby Angela (when asked, Irma
flatly refused to breast feed her, saying "I think
she’s had quite enough help from me already"), but as
soon as they could get her home and assume full
control, they put her on a strict diet. Even as the
baby cried constantly out of hunger, her mother would
shout, "I will not have a fat child!" Ned and Irma
were by no means slim themselves, but it was too late
for them; they still had a chance to make sure their
daughter was model-thin.
Despite everything they did, Angela grew bigger and
more round each year. They tried every diet that
existed, and as new diets were invented, they tried
those too. The story was always the same. Angela
would lose a few pounds, and then suddenly balloon up
bigger than before. From the start poor little
Angela’s body had yearned for food and took every
opportunity to store whatever it possibly could in the
form of new inches of fat.
Though Angela swore she didn’t cheat on the diets,
her mother called her a liar and did everything she
could to monitor Angela’s eating habits twenty-four
hours a day. She was sure that Angela had some secret
stash of food and would often perform surprise room
searches, turning Angela’s entire bedroom upside-down,
but there was never any clandestine food to be found,
neither a ding dong nor even a carrot stick.
Angela would have killed for an extra carrot stick,
even just an extra crumb of stale bread. She was
hungry all the time, and continuously looked forward
to the next meager meal, whether it be a watery cup of
leek soup, or else a dab of unflavored no-fat yoghurt
on a lettuce leaf. But she did not want to be fat
either, and though she had no reason to trust her
parent’s dietary judgements, she allowed them to
control every facet of her young life in the hopes
that they would stumble onto some miracle remedy that
would make her a normal size girl instead of the
leviathan she had become.
Irma cried at night, ashamed of her inability to cure
her daughter of her immensity. All she had wanted was
a cute little girl that she could show off to family
and friends, and instead god had given her a baby
behemoth. Her desperation grew as Angela grew, and
she became convinced that her child would never be
married, probably would never leave the house in fact,
and thus would be a permanent anchor around Irma’s
neck. She envisioned her daughter reaching the
proportions where she could no longer fit through the
doorways of the house, forcing Irma to stay home and
take care of her because she would be too immensely
fat to do anything other than lie in bed and get
fatter.
One day, in the summer before Angela was to start
high school, Irma clutched Ned by the collar of his shirt
and said with a wild gleam in her eyes, "I know, we’ll
starve her! No food at all!"
"Already tried that, remember? We got her as close
to starvation as we could, but as soon as we were
forced to start feeding her again, she almost immediately
grew to twice her original size."
"But what if we didn’t stop? Maybe she can’t starve.
We should see if it is possible for her to starve at
all." Her voice came out in excited rasps of breath,
and Ned could see through her dilated pupils the first
stages of madness. He felt it was time to put an end
to this mess.
"It’s over," her said. "We’ve done everything we can
do, and you are starting to scare me with the things
you are contemplating." Irma started to argue, but
Ned shut her up with an icy look. "We are not going
to let our daughter starve to death. If we were to do
that, I have no doubt that as her parents we would be
found guilty of some ‘don’t starve your children to
death’ law or something like that and then we would be
put away for a very long time. No, the only thing
left to do is leave her to her own devices. In other
words, we should feed her, but otherwise ignore her
very existence. In fact, I think we should give her
whatever she wants to eat. Who knows, maybe she’ll
eat so much that she explodes or something and then
we’ll be rid of the problem for good. Either that or
we could sell her picture to the National Inquirer and
make a nice buck. You could get those fancy french
shoes you’ve had your eye on for so long."
Irma just stood there, obviously running all this
through her mind. She swallowed hard, and then looked
up at Ned and just nodded. Then she went in the
kitchen and started to make breakfast.
When they told Angela that the dieting was over, she
went to her room, broke open her piggy bank, and then
ran to the corner convenience store and asked for one
of every kind of candy they had. It was the most
joyous moment of her entire life.
Chapter 21
Chapter 20 was first written November 25, 2001
It was last edited December 29, 2001
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